Right, lets see now, how do I do this...
I mean, it can't be that difficult because the monkey butler can do it and I'm sure if he can do it I can do it!
Here we go then, my first post to my own blog, free from interference, let or hindrance from the staff!
It is known that all cats are kings or queens. What is more, all kings must be prepared to be generals!
It is known.
With this in mind I have been carefully preparing plans of action for a range of engagements – most of them with the monkey butler who, for all he is no foe will serve nicely as an unwitting stand in for some manoeuvres and 'war games' (he likes those, apparently).
On the 13th of September in the year my monkey butler and his ilk have designated 2017 we fought our first engagement and I was able to put one of these plans into action.
I had not informed him that he would be participating in these manoeuvres, or even that they were about to happen, since my plan relied upon surprise. Besides, the lack-wit would only have forgotten about it anyway (he is, I'm afraid to say, quite easily distracted).
I chose, as our first theatre of operations, the bed. Usually monkey butler sleeps on the left of it upon a mound of pillows, one of which is a particularly comfortable one shaped like embracing arms which he refers to as his 'V shaped pillow' (For my part, I refer to it simply as 'Mine'). It is incredibly comfortable and as such, a perfect objective for a battle of wits between us (although sadly, in such battles he is all but unarmed).
Naturally the plan was a huge success and I was, as expected, totally victorious.
The plan which I flawlessly executed was this one:-
Extract from Ekanath's big Book of Battle Plans
Ekanath's cunning plan for total bed domination. 1. Get into cat tree and hunt fur kibbles which monkey butler will have dutifully 'hidden' around it. 2. Find the platform with no kibbles on it then cry mournfully and look disappointed till monkey butler gets off bed to put kibbles on said platform. 3. Wait till monkey butler is loading platform with kibbles then jump over his shoulder onto bed and race for his spot by the ever so comfy v shaped pillow. 4. Get settled before monkey butler can react. 5. Watch monkey butler resign himself to the inevitable and give up his spot to you.
6. Go to sleep.
Addendum
September 14th.
Less than 24 hours after doing this for the first time I managed to get the monkey butler to fall for it a second time.
I love my monkey butler but for the love of Bast he's dim!
Addendum
September 14th (Evening)
It seems monkey butler can learn. He has used my own plan against me!
After coming in from a stroll about my kingdom I found the bed untended and took up position in the arms of the V shaped pillow. Shortly thereafter monkey butler came into the room and saw me resting there. Now usually when this happens he resigns himself to lying on the right hand side of the bed until mummy comes to bed and moves him.
Tonight he began placing cat treats (actual cat treats, not just kibbles that he thought I would mistake for treats!) on the cat tree. Intrigued I went to investigate, at which point he dashed past me and stole my place on the pillows!
The indignity!
Turns out he has more low animal cunning than I gave him credit for.
Fortunately he also has a bladder the size of a cat nip drop, so I won't have long to wait before he needs to pee and I can take my spot back.
Oh, yep – there he goes now!
I almost feel sorry for him really. He's so easy outwit. - Ekanath Rex
